mwnch

Rick is certainly in my top three TV cooks. I feel able to call him by his first name as I once saw the back of his head in his Padstow deli as well as the infamous Jack Russell Chalky (RIP) tied up outside - bosom buddies. Whilst the conquest of Padstein is a bone of contention to some locals and leaves me feeling a little queasy (how long before Ricks Burgers opens on the harbour-front?) I’ll leave that particular bone for the ghost of Chalky to grapple with rather than adding it to my personal cupboard.

His enthusiasm for food is catching, his obsession with ingredients pre-dates the current trendiness for local, seasonal produce - strangely, (for a TV cook) I think he even had a vegetable garden before they became the essential tax-deductible accessory for the celebrity chef. I particularly like his travel programmes, when abroad Ricks passions seem to be amplified and the dialogue and film footage manage to be both evocative and inspirational. I never thought I’d like to travel through France on a barge or drive across Sicily in a Land Rover until I saw RS do it.

Finish all that off with the Seafood Restaurant in Padstow, which is the scene of some of my favourite restaurant meals — one can’t ask for much more from a chef.

If you want a fish cookery book, then I don’t think you can go far wrong when choosing one of Ricks…

Of all the cooks that I’m writing about in this series, Keith Floyd is probably the one whose televised work has had a greater influence on me than his written work. In fact it wasn’t until I came to write this piece on Keith, that I even gave his books much thought.

It’s his joie-de-vivre that makes him such a charismatic figure and TV conveys that far better than print. There can’t be many red-blooded drinkers & cookers who don’t secretly desire trading places with Keith, knocking together some frankly knocked together food in a sultry corner of Italy whilst keeping cool with copious quantities of Vino Verde. Or frying reindeer hocks in butter in some dusky Scandanavian tundra whilst pickling oneself with a vat of vodka.

After all that his books are bound to pale by comparison.

Another thing about Keith which one must admit is do we really care about his recipes ? Is it really Keith we turn to for a Chicken Korma recipe and jugged or Royal Hare Stew, blood and all is perhaps a minority pursuit. His best stuff such as Irene Cleaves’ southern fried chicken or Evander Preston’s crabmeat fritters are really someone elses. Surely Elizabeth David is a better source for let’s say Southern French recipes and we’ll leave North African food to Sam and Sam Clark… let’s make a resolution to enjoy Keith for what he’s best at - making damn fine, entertaining TV prog’s with backing music by the Stranglers!

It is through the two fat ladies that I can begin to understand the British Empire. So few people with plumy accents and indomitable attitudes ruling over so many. With ladies like Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson you can start to see how they did it - all that fox-hunting, gin and those stiff upper lips.

Their food, whilst old fashioned, bourgeoisie and liable to fur up your arteries and steeply reduce your life-expectancy has a solidity and properness about it that’s undeniably attractive…For example, one of the few recipes available on the ‘net is the high tea (how long is it since you heard that term?) dish of Rigo Jancsi Chocolate Slices = jam, sugar, cream and chocolate and to hell with the calories.

The story of the Ladies on the web is one of desolation and moved or missing pages which is a shame - the BBC Food Site seems to have removed all recipes except for a rather forlorn one for Potted turkey (which I won’t even link to in disgust at the BBC) and the food network message board and dedicated page is long gone. To even up this absence, I’ll research some Two Fat Ladies Inspired recipes and bring them to mwnch soon … watch this space!

In the meantime, you might like to peruse some of the Ladies books.

Despite recent strange diversions Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall is one of the pillars upon which my culinary world is built.

I loved his early adventures in cooking rooks and placentas on Cook on the Wild Side and TV Dinners, River Cottage as a concept is close to my idea of heaven and his recent exploration of sustainable fish stocks is admirable and thought provoking.

Of all of Hugh’s work, his thoughtful writing on animal husbandry, care and the symbiotic relationship between people and domesticated livestock has informed and reinforced my farmer’s son attitude to this thorny subject.

The River Cottage website forum is a good source of gossip and like-minded individuals.

You can find a number of Hugh recipes for free on the BBC website including a favourite of mine pumpkin risotto. Hugh’s own site River Cottage also has some great seasonal recipes. Finally, Guardian Unlimited has a very attractive selection of writing and recipes, including a very topical one given my new blackberry based theme on mwnch, an article on Black beauties.

Then of course, there are his books, all of which I thoroughly recommend.

Just one piece of advice, stop hanging around in the play-ground with that bully Ramsay and his blubbery lipped side-kick Oliver and find some nice, sensitive friends of your own.

My word, how TV cooks have changed.

The heritage of Fanny and the Galloping Gourmet has somehow led to Gordon Ramsay frying scallops and steaks with an incompetent DJ and a liberal sprinkling of F words (not the TV show this time). Add the whole confused chicken hypocrisy of Jamie O (who spoke out against his Sainsbury’s paymasters only to apologise like a scalded prefect threatened with loss of his fag) and throw in Hugh F-W’s (who frankly I expected better from) involvement with the gang of three and I find myself shaking my head in dismay and confusion. I just can’t join together the jokey TV trailers, Ramsay’s novelty cock-a-long (sic) and the plight of factory farmed chickens – and I think Channel 4 expect me to.

This whole factory chicken issue isn’t one that should be handled with prime-time TV and one assumes prime-time TV pay-packets for the participants. Perhaps free-range chicken sales will increase in-light of the series of shows, but as soon as T*sco or As*a run a 50 for 50p on chicken nuggets I’m sure things will go back to where they were. This is an issue for politicians and legislators … if Gordon, Jamie and Hugh could elbow their way past Beckham and get through the door of 10 Downing Street then perhaps some real progress could be made in the name of animal welfare.